Should we build our village before birth?

If you’re pregnant or had a baby you’ve most certainly heard people talk of ‘The Village’.

The concept of a village is bound to look different for everyone but universally it translates to those who are there to offer support to a new mother and her family once a baby is born as she transcends in to her postpartum period.

For some, this may be family and friends. For others (if resources permit), this may look like a postpartum doula to offer support such as cleaning, cooking and holding baby. But a village may be as simple as having a mothers group to lean on or a trusted family GP or maternal Child Healath Nurse. A village can really come in so many forms including online these days.

But as many of us are all too aware, the journey itself towards motherhood is rarely an easy one as we navigate the bumps, twists and turns of various pregnancy symptoms, emotions, aches and pains. Preparing of course for one of our greatest hurdles yet- Birth.

So does it make sense for us to build a pregnancy village and what would this look like? We wouldn’t expect a new mother to do everything alone yet we are comfortable for women to literally share their body with an entire person (or maybe two or three in the case of multiples) and experience all the challenges this brings without offering support.

So should the meal trains start earlier? Should we make appointments with our pregnant loved ones simply to help around the house or be a support for the other little child/ren already at home, particularly as they get closer to the third trimester?

How I wish looking back on my own journey through pregnancy (especially the second time around) I had taken the time to learn more and afforded myself the support of a doula. To me back then it was a fairly new concept and pig-headedly I thought I could just do it all on my own. Having someone to help take the stress off me particularly in the latter part of pregnancy (and of course in postpartum) would have been a godsend.

So now as I look back and reflect I wonder if we as a society need to become better at proactively holding the mother-to-be as well as the new mother Especially if we have travelled our own pregnancy journeys already. Pregnancy can be challenging especially when we are expected to continue on with our day to day life. And this is one of the reasons that we have developed our Facebook group for new mums to be. So that women can connect with others who are also on their pregnancy journey to seek support and share tips and experiences.

So let’s check in on our loved ones before baby arrives. Bring them food. Shower them and no just baby before they give birth. Offer support in any way you can.

Stat your village early and reap the reward of the support it brings.

Teya x

How to Write your birth plan

Ok before we get started here, let me acknowledge that the term “Birth Plan” is probably a little outdated and I actually prefer the term “Birth Preferences”.

Birth rarely goes to ‘plan’ so let’s be realistic about that first and foremost. But you are still 1000% entitled to have an idea of how you would prefer your birth experience to go. After all this is your body and your are in control of birthing your baby. It makes sense that you would have at least imagined how you would like this to go doesn’t it?!

When looking at the labour and birth experience in a hospital setting, I like to break it in to 4 parts. First I’ll provide a brief outline of these for you then we can delve in to the types of questions you might like to think about for each stage in order to formulate your birth preference sheet.

1. Prior to Hospital Admission

   This may be considered as the latter stages of labour where you may be having more in-depth discussions with your care provider in relation to labour and delivery.

2. Hospital Admission

   You’ve been admitted to hospital because you’ve either a) gone in to spontaneous labour or b) are being monitored and/or induced.

3. During Labour

   During labour refers to the first stage of labour, so everything leading up to the pushing stage (or caesarean if you require an emergency caesar). For any mamas having a planned Caesar, you may like to consider preferences for everything that happens in the hospital between being admitted and entering theatre.

4. During Birth

   This is the second stage of labour or the period in which you are trying to get the baby out. During birth may refer to pushing or caesarean delivery

So let’s take a closer look at some of the questions you might like to ask your self for each stage. Remember, that you are formulating your ideal preferences. This is not a solid plan and there may be genuine medical reasons for many things on this list to become unachievable and that’s ok.

So always be guided by your Dr. But even just putting your preferences together means that you and your health care provider team have a loose run sheet of how your labour and birth will go. Think of it more like a flow chart.

1. Questions to Consider Prior to your Hospital Admission:

   • Are you open to having a stretch and sweep?

   • Do you wish to be induced (in the instance that it is not considered a medical emergency to do so)?

   • If Induction is required do you have a preferred methodology i.e. gel, syntocinon drip etc. Is there any type of induction that you would not consider?

2. Questions to Consider for your Hospital Admission:

   • If this is an option at your hospital, do you want to be admitted in early labour (4cm or less) or do you want to return home to progress (if safe to do so)? Do you even want to have a cervical examination?

   • Do the Staff have access to or are they already familiar with your preference sheet?

   • If you are hypnobirthing, are staff familiar with this technique and accomodating of this?

3. Questions to Consider for During Labour

   • What do you want the atmosphere of your birth space to be like?Number of people? Essential oil diffuser? Music?

   • Are people allowed to talk to you? If so when (e.g. not during contractions)?

   • Do you want to be offered pain relief by staff or will you ask for it yourself if and when you require?

   • Do you want cervical examinations and do you want to receive ‘progress updates’?

   • How do you want your birth partner to support you?

   • Do you want to labour in water? Is this a possibility at your birthing hospital?

   • Is it possible for baby to be monitored intermittently so that you have freedom of movement in labour?

   • If you require more than 1 support person, is this a possibility at your hospital (e.g. spouse and doula)?

   • If you are trying for a physiological birth at what point might you consider epidural and/or caesarean?

   • For Caesar Mums you might like to consider, how you want the atmosphere of the room while you are having your epidural / How many people in the room / Music / Lighting

4. Questions to Consider During Birth:

   • Do you want to avoid laying on your back to deliver baby (if you have not had an epidural)?

   • Do you want to be guided in relation to breathing baby out?

   • Is talking allowed?

   • Do you wish to have a water birth?

   • Where do you want your birth partner located? How can they best support you here? Do you want them to receive (catch) the baby and/or cut the cord?

   • Do you want to have an oxytocin injection to deliver your placenta? Or do you wish to try and breastfeed first to help stimulate natural oxytocin?

   • For Caesar Mums You might like to consider the environment of the room. Can you have music playing? Can your birth partner be in the room? Can you have skin to skin straight away and begin breastfeeding? Do you want to have an assisted birth where you help pull your baby out?

   • How long do you want to delay cord clamping?

   • Do you plan on keeping your placenta for encapsulation etc?

Key Tips for Birth Preferences:

If you are planning to have a physiological birth, always include preferences for Caesarean delivery too. You never know how things will go on the day so it just makes sense to know that if you end up having the Caesar you’ve already thought it through and can make it your own experience regardless. This helps pave the way for a more positive birth experience.

Always Share your birth preferences with your health care provider team in advance and have an open discussion with them about what is and is not achievable. At the end of the day you want to feel comfortable and confident that your team of health providers to be on your side and fully across how you want this experience to be. You definitely do not want to be having any heated or uncomfortable discussions mid contraction.

Always share and discuss your birth preferences with your birth partner/doula. Whoever is there as your support person. Ensure they understand the document so that if required they can advocate for you, if something on the plan is missed or disregarded.. For example you may not want to have a cervical examination and your OB has requested one.

What’s it’s like transitioning from One child to Two under 2

Beautiful chaos - Life as a mum of two (19 months apart)

We didn’t plan to becoming parents two children under two years of age.

Well, technically we did. We were trying, however it took over a year to fall pregnant with our first child, as soon as we felt ready to start trying again we did.

And guess what? It took 2 months!

I feel like I was never 100% ready to find out I was pregnant let alone when I realised I’d have a new born and a 19 month old. Like what were we thinking?

One thing that most people don’t talk about is the period of grieving you go through as you spend those final months, weeks, days and hours with your first born. Those last moments of just you and them. So little, they have no comprehension that their lives are about to change irrevocably. This was an incredibly special time for me to just soak up those little moments where I could be 100% present with my little girl knowing that soon I just wouldn’t have  as much time for her as I did right now.

I remember vividly the night my waters broke with my second child. It was around 7pm and I was reading bedtime books to our little girl when I felt something leaking in my pants. Thinking it was just pregnancy related, maybe my bladder had given way a little getting up and down off the floor, I went to the bathroom to freshen up and that when I realised that the leaking was not stoping. Suddenly it all clicked and I realised that my waters had broken. With my first pregnancy my waters broken as a sudden gush so I was really unprepared for what I was experiencing.

Taking our baby girl to bed that night I cried as I said goodnight to her. She had no idea that she would go to sleep an only child that night and wake up as a big sister. I wouldn’t see her for a few days (the first time this has happened in her entire little life). Even now I get emotional thinking about this. I won’t go in to the details of my labour here but it was relatively quick (baby boy delivered 12 hours form waters breaking) and reasonably uneventful or “textbook” if you ask my OB. We didn’t know we were having a boy. We decided not to find out the gender this time around and BOY were we surprised.

When our babies met for the first time it was in the hospital. My daughter was very confused and just so happy to see me. But there was almost a look of betrayal coming from her tiny face as I could see her trying to understand why there was another child in the room. Sure we had spoken to her about the baby in mummy’s tummy but I think at that age there is no real comprehension of what that will actually look like in real life.

Once we returned home, life was all about settling in to our new normal. Which was hard. We had a new baby who was a screamer, very unsettled. And a toddler that was fighting for attention and playing up to get it. It really took some adjustment. We were fortunate enough that my partner was able to take a full 4 weeks off from work, but I remember just feeling so anxious about him returning and was dreading it.

How was I going to manage with two children on my own? How was I going to breastfeed and run after a toddler at the same time? How was I going to manage, meal times, showering, bed times, getting out of the house… the list goes on.

My toddler’s boundary testing predominantly consisted of behaviours that would be designed to grab our attention. deliberatly pulling everything out of drawers, meltdowns and even hitting the baby. And whilst some of this behaviour is just part and parcel of having an 18 month old, it was very clear that so much of the behaviour was deliberate attention seeking. She wanted us to focus on her more again.

Something that I found the hardest about transitioning from one to two (especially when both are so young), and that nobody ever really speaks about or prepares you for is having to essentially triage the needs of your children. You cannot physically tend to the needs of both children at the same time it is literally impossible. When both of your children are screaming who do you tend to first? Which child needs you the most? I found this incredibly overwhelming, heartbreaking and stressful in the beginning.

When my partner did finally return to work it wasn’t a regular work week, but he fell straight back on to his call week roster which is a 24 hour roster (up to 15 working hours a day). Needless to say my first day at home alone with the kids, involved tears, begging him to come home and an urgent call (by him) to his mother to come ‘rescue’ me. I’m not one to ask for help from others so I was less than pleased that he had done this, but also extremely grateful for the support.

If there’s one piece of unsolicited advice I can offer anyone who maybe preparing for a similar situation, it is to LEAN ON YOUR VILLAGE. Ask for help! It doesn’t make you a bad parent. It actually means that you can be a better, less stressed parent to your children.

I’m very happy to report though as time passed, the days did get easier in a lot of ways as my first born got to know her little brother. But life was (and still is) extremely busy. At that point I had two children in nappies, breastfeeding one, multiple nap schedules and I had to find time to somehow feed and shower myself. Oh and eat of course. I used to forget that one all the time.

The days just flew by and I guess that old saying ‘The nights are long but the years are short’ had never rung truer. Being up all night with a newborn again and the busyness of the daytime, meant that time had never moved faster and slower all at once.

That a first week turns in to four and all of a sudden your newborn in 1 month old. Then 3 month. And now they’re infant not a newborn. And you’re no longer classified ‘postpartum’ (Don’t even get me started on that).

With each month that did pass I was able to conquer a new mountain. Figuring out how to get our giant double pram in and out of the car. Going to the supermarket with both, the Chemist, the park, cafes, shopping centres. Scheduling appointments around everyones naps.

Now we’re 2 years and 3 months in and life is much much easier. There are certainly a lot of benefits to having your children so close together. They become good friends (who fight a bucketload). The nappy situation is over and done with pretty early in to your parenting life (1 down and one almost on the way out), your children learn social skills early on such as negotiation, sharing, conflict resolution, empathy. But most importantly they are the best of little friends (when they’re not working on their conflict resolution of course). And that’s honestly one of the most beautiful things to watch as a parent.

How to support your postpartum Recovery

When it comes to postpartum life what do you think of?

Perhaps changing endless nappies in the beautiful nursery you have decorated. Breastfeeding in your ergonomic feeding chair. Or perhaps it’s just the notion of you and your baby cocooned in your house locked away from the outside world.

You’ve probably spent hours researching nappies, wipes, natural baby creams and lotions. How to swaddle a baby, how to breastfeed, how to dress a baby (guilty) and bought waaaaay to many cute outfits. Because I mean how cute are they seriously?!

 But have you really planned for postpartum?

Yes, you’ve probably cooked a few meals and popped them in your freezer. But have you really planned for YOUR postpartum journey?

 As we transition in to maetrescence, or postpartum if you are already a mother, our bodies and minds again go through an extraordinary transition.

 We may experience lochia bleeding for up to 6 weeks. Our uterus takes the same amount of time to contract back to its original size which for some can cause discomfort and even pain particularly if this is not your first baby.

Hormones! Lots of hormones doing all sorts of wonderful and crazy things.

Sleep loss and all the side effects that stem from sleeping in hourly blocks (if that, lets be real).

Pain and discomfort. Unfortunately this is a very real reality of early postpartum life for a multitude of reasons (caesarean, tears, stitches, haemmorhoids the list goes on).

 Of course, it’s not all doom and gloom and for most of us these postpartum discomforts are just a small price to pay, outweighed by the amount of relief, joy and love we feel to have our babies earth side in our arms in our beautiful newborn bubble. As I write this, I can almost picture myself with another bub. Oops did I just say that?

So taking the above in to account, here are some things that we think should be a core focus when planning for your postpartum journey.

How do you plan to get rest? Keeping mind, that sleep when the baby is not a fool proof plan.

If you are a breastfeeding mama, do you have a support partner who can look after the baby for an hour or two so you can get a block of sleep?

If you are feeding baby with formula, will you work out a feed schedule that supports you to get rest?

When it comes to nourishing your body do you know what foods are best to support healing and recovery? Or those that can assist with breast milk production (if this is in your plan)?

What about treating discomfort after birth. Admittedly, this will look slightly different for vaginal and C-section mamas, but there are so many fantastic products on th market that will benefit you regardless of how you birthed your baby.

So If you are sitting here reading this and realised you are so ready for postpartum when it comes to baby but perhaps not so much for your own postpartum journey, then you need to read on as we take you through our top 5 products to support Postpartum recovery.

1.     Bare Mum Peri Wash Bottle – we’ve listed this as number 1 as chances are if you have a physiological birth, you will find this product extremely beneficial for that first pee post birth. Delivering your baby vaginally can result in tearing and/or grazing which can cause and almighty stinging sensation when urinating. By adding water to this ergonomically designed bottle, you can simply squeeze onto the affected area whilst urinating to ease discomfort. Trust me it works a treat. The peri wash bottle can continue to be used to ease discomfort for as long as needed. Product tip - add some sitz soak solution (we like Soothe Mama by Seasons of Mama) to the bottle as any application to treat haemorrhoids.  

2.     Bare Mum Postpartum Briefs – Comfort, Style and absolute functionality. Need we say more? These beauties have been designed not only to be comfortable for all birth deliveries and have not one but two pockets (perineum and abdomen) that can hold an icepack for cooling relief. Did we mention they are also reversable? So, depending on what level of cool relief you are after you can reverse the pants to suit. Pretty amazing. A must have for your hospital bag an postpartum recovery journey.

3.     Mère Botanicals Peri Spray – This product gets an extra tick for versatility from us. As the spray is not only super relieving for your perinium but is also great to use on c-section wounds also. This all-natural combination of witch hazel, aloe vera, vitamin E and more will work wonders to provide relief following birth and from haemorrhoids.

4.     Seasons of Mama Soothe Mama Organic Post Birth Bath Tea – There are a few post birth bath soaks on the market now but we absolutely love this one because it just has so many benefits. Made in small batches with all organic ingredients here in Australia, this bath tea has antiseptic properties and also works to relieve aching muscles and after birth cramps, reduce swelling, improve circulation, reduce bleeding and provide relief for haemorrhoids. No Bath? No problem! Remember our old friend the peri wash bottle? Simply brew some of this tea in your peri wash bottle and apply directly to affected area.

5.     Mothers Mylk Nourished Postpartum Cookbook – Healing. The process of becoming well again. Whilst we are not considered ‘unwell’ post birth, the journey to recovery can be a long and arduous one. The very best thing we can do to support our healing process post birth is nourish our bodies correctly. Pregnancy, birth and postpartum have placed huge demands on your body let alone if you add breastfeeding into the mix. Restoration of nutrients is crucial during this time to balance hormones and avoid postpartum depletion. Enter the Nourished Postpartum Cookbook. Developed in Australia by qualified naturopath and postpartum doulas this beautiful cookbook offers simple, realistic and most importantly nourishing recipes to help you heal. The whole family will love them!

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My Positive Birth Story

So, if you’re anything like me and in the later stages of labour, you’ve probably being scrutinising every tiny niggle and googling like a mad woman.

(Googles “how do I know when I’m in labour”?)

 So, what does it feel like to go in to labour and how do you tell when it’s has begun? Here is a recount of my experience of labour and birth of my first child.

 Pretty much for my entire pregnancy, I felt pelvic girdle pain. Slightly similar to a dull period pain, PGP can be felt in the lower back, lower abdomen pelvis, hips and thighs and is a result of the ligaments relaxing, stretching and allowing for joints to become more flexible. Mine was concentrated to my lower abdomen.

 So needless to say, I was pretty used to feeling some discomfort by my third trimester.

However, two weeks before my due date, I noticed that the dull ache was becoming more noticeable and more centralised to what I thought felt like my ovaries. The pain was not obvious enough to feel coming and going. But over the course of the week, I definitely noticed a stronger pattern of on/off aches which were more prominent in the evening. The best way I can describe this is like a strong period pain ache.

Because of this, I had convinced myself I was going to go early. I should also add that from about 36 weeks, my baby’s head had become engaged and found its position very low in my pelvis, which I can confirm is very very uncomfortable.

I was told I was carrying a small baby, so at my 38-week appointment my obstetrician floated the idea of an induction the following week as they did not think the baby was going to grow much more for the rest of the gestation period.

From all the information I had gathered during pregnancy regarding birth and interventions, I was determined not to be induced.

 (Googles “How to bring on labour”).

 This was just my personal preference and I appreciate that others may have a differing view on this, depending on their own circumstances. However, I knew for me that this was not the right option. So, I did everything I could to ‘bring on labour’.

 This included, drinking raspberry leaf tea several times a day, eating dates every day (I made them into smoothies with almond milk because they are very sweet), walking, spicy food, diffusing and bathing in Clary Sage essential oil.

But there was one thing in particular that really started my contractions. Sex.

 Literally within 10 minutes of doing the deed, my body had started contracting. And this feeling of pain was much much stronger than the dull achy feeling I had previously felt. It felt much more intense and was really all I could focus on in that moment. It is actually a really difficult feeling to articulate as there really is nothing that compares to the feeling of a contraction. The feeling was painful enough for me to attach my TENS machine and I had to breathe through the surges as they came and went.

I set myself up in the lounge room, turned on the tv and my contraction timer then sent my partner to bed thinking this could take ages.

 Then the next thing I remember was waking up on the floor of the lounge room with my TENS still running and no contractions to be felt. I had experienced what is called a false labour.

Approximately 5 days later and two days before my due date, I was having trouble sleeping and getting comfortable, so I set myself up in the spare room. I woke the next morning at approximately 3:30am with the same painful feeling.

 At first, I thought it was because I really needed to wee. But after getting up to use the toilet I quickly realised that I was experiencing surges again. So once again I popped on my TENS machine and began my breathwork whilst I timed my contractions. After realising they had begun falling into a more regular pattern, I woke my partner at approximately 6am to let him know I was in labour. I was feeling calm and able to use my breath to manage the pain, so I had a shower, washed my hair and prepped our stuff to go to the hospital.

We rang our hospital at around 7:30am to let them know my contraction were approximately 3-4 minutes apart. I sounded pretty calm, so they said it was up to me whether or not I wanted to come in. and then they asked when the last time was, I had felt my baby move.

 I realised that this was something I had paid literally no attention to since waking up that morning, I was so focused on my breathing and monitoring contractions that I had not paid attention to baby moving at all. Plus, time seemed to move VERY quickly during the early labour hours as I was timing contractions.

So, we decided to come in as a precaution to monitor the baby. Our hospital was only a 10-minute drive, so we thought we’d just pop back afterwards for a while until things ramped up.

 By the time we’d got ourselves ready and arrived at hospital it was 8:30am. We headed up to the maternity ward and were ushered into a delivery room so I could have a monitor placed on me to record our baby’s heartbeat. Thankfully everything was fine. By this stage however, my contractions had really kicked into gear and the pain was getting harder and harder to just breath through, even with my TENS machine. I vividly remember my partner saying, “I don’t think were going home are we”?

Our midwife sent him to go get the bags out of the car and get some brekky downstairs as it was more than likely we were staying, and our baby would be born later that day.

 A little while after I went to the bathroom and noticed my mucus plug and bloody show in the bowl of the toilet. For many women this happens well before contractions start, but in my case it was one of the last signs that I was in labour.

After determining we were staying, my obstetrician was called in and arrived at approximately 10am. After what felt like about 5 minutes, I felt a gush of fluid and my waters had broken. Like what you’d expect to see in the movies. Which is odd because I was always told this rarely happens and certainly not how it happened with my second which was more like a constant trickle over 10 hours.

I was monitored again to check baby and as everything was fine, I was left to labour in peace. The pain was getting more and more unbearable. It really is an all-consuming feeling. I remember just really being so inside my on mind. Listening to my affirmations, breathing long slow breaths and just teetering on the edge of losing all control from the intensity of the pain. Labour really is such a mental game as well, You need to push yourself through mentally as much as you do physically. Kind of like intense exercise I guess. Like really really intense exercise, when you’re literally burning and shaking you just need to tell yourself;f to push through.

Every minute I contracted felt unbearably long and I was only getting a minute or so break in between each one. I really felt at this point I was so close to asking for the epidural which is not what I wanted (There absolutely nothing wrong with asking for an epidural btw, it just wasn’t in my personal plan, and I really wanted to try to birth without it so I wasn’t delivering lying on my back).

I then had an overwhelming feeling to ask for my obstetrician to come check me. I had in my birth plan that I did not want a vaginal examination but somehow, I just knew this is what I needed in that moment. By the time she arrived and checked me, I was 9cm. The relief I felt was indescribable.

This was the point that they got me in position to deliver my baby.

I was kneeling on the bed which was raised so that my body was upright holding on to the top of the bed. I was given some gas to help manage the pain, but I felt this really challenging to operate given the intensity of everything else that was happening. I was told I wasn’t able to push yet but after a couple of contractions I had dilated fully, and my baby had started make its way involuntarily down my pelvis.

 I was letting out what can only be described as a primal groan whilst this was happening. I was told only to push very lightly at this point which believe me is hard to do when you are in that much pain and just need it to stop.

But then the time came, and I was told to PUSH. Which I did and quite quickly I felt a pop and my baby’s head was out. Oh my gosh the relief I felt was like nothing else. Strangely enough it did not feel painful but more like a relief of pressure build up finally being released.

I was so close to the end. A few moments later a shoulder and then our baby’s body slid right out with such ease. Newborn babies are very slippery.

Then your heart skips a beat for that moment where you wait for that little cry and for everything to be ok. And your baby is placed on your chest. A little stranger, all puffy and slimy but perfect. It’s a very surreal feeling. Amazement mixed with relief, love and a touch of curiosity as you study their little face and try to determine just who they are as you begin your next journey in to matrescence.

A moment I hope to never forget. x

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Hypnobirthing - The natural Approach to a calm and positive birth

Rosie Fitzclarence Geelong Born Founder and Hypnobirthing Australia ™ childbirth educator

Hypnobirthing is fast becoming an increasingly popular topic in the maternity space. Thousands of couples all around the country have participated in this training with the intention to equip themselves with the knowledge and resources they require for a positive birth experience.

There is still a lot of misconception around hypnobirthing and what it actually is. So, I have enlisted the help of Rosie Fitzclarence, Founder of Geelong Born and lead Hypnobirthing Australia ™ childbirth instructor to help unpack the topic. I was also fortunate to have Rosie as my Hypnobirthing Australia ™ instructor. So, let’s start with a little bit from my own experience before we delve in.

I had come across hypnobirthing whilst trawling the internet on one of my many pregnancy fact-finding sessions and was introduced to a local instructor by my hospital midwife at around 20 weeks into my first pregnancy.

In a matter of days, I had googled the instructor Rosie, somehow convinced my partner it was a good idea and booked in our 2-day hypnobirthing course at Geelong Born.

Rosie is a registered Midwife, Nurse and Childbirth Educator in Geelong and has actually worked in midwifery for 17 years. In 2016 Rosie became a certified Hypnobirthing Australia ™ Childbirth Educator and has been teaching the positive birth program ever since. Her most important role however is being mum to her two beautiful daughters who are 8 and 10 years of age.

I began my hypnobirthing course with my partner when I was approximately 26 weeks pregnant. Upon walking into the venue which was held at a beautiful yoga studio in Torquay, my partner whispered to me

“We better not be watching any birth videos”.

To which I replied,

“No, I don’t think it’s ‘that’ kind of training”.

We entered the room and were immediately greeted by Rosie who seems to form an immediate connection with everyone. I felt instantly comfortable. After taking a seat amongst a group of about 6 couples and about 5 minutes into our session, Rosie asks

“Who wants to watch a birth video”.

And I can see the colour in my partners face drain very quickly.

 Watching the mother in the video birth her child so calmly I was completely in awe and filled with an immediate sense of I can actually do this. I was excited and ready to learn how I too could have this experience with my birth.

During our two days of training, we were provided with a very clear understanding of the physiology of birth. Sounds pretty straightforward but this understanding really is key to be able to better utilise the hypnobirthing tools and techniques you are provided with.

 These included techniques such as breathwork, guided visualisation exercises (which continuously put one father-to-be to sleep), understanding of pressure points and how this can be applied pre and during labour, familiarising yourself with a light touch sensation from your birth partner to promote oxytocin as well as a grounding touch that was a bit firmer to be utilised during a surge (the hypnobirthing term for ‘contraction’).

What I loved about the course was how much involvement was required from your birth partner. I really think my partner felt a greater sense of confidence going in to our first birthing experience because he knew how he could support me both physically and mentally. He was included in creating my birth preference sheet (AKA Birth Plan), so I felt safe and comfortable in the fact he had my back. At the completion of the course, we were each provided with a folio of take-home resources so that the techniques could be practised at home in preparation for birth. I kept my birth affirmations on display on my bathroom mirror and would read them while I brushed my teeth. Breath work exercises were put up in the toilet so I could practice while... well you get the picture. My partner would practice our light touch and grounding touch on me as well as pressure point techniques. As part of the program, you also have access to the visualisation audio tracks that I would listen to at night. The key really is to familiarise yourself very well with the affirmations and visualisations so that when you are in the thick of things in labour, you can more easily ground yourself and connect with the feelings of calm you experienced during your practice.

So, I hear you ask, did it actually work? For me it’s a resounding yes! I was able to have not one but two physiological births with no pain relief (except for a few puffs of Gas) and no intervention. It really was a calm and surreal experience. I was so inside my own mind using my visualisations and birth affirmations. When it all clicked in to place, I was able to truly let go during my surges and I had two fairly fast labours.

So What Actually is Hypnobirthing?
In her own words Rosie describes it this way - I see the Hypnobirthing Australia ™ Positive Birth Program as a toolkit for birth. Parents that attend my classes will learn a variety of techniques for a calm positive birth experience. I discuss the mind-body connection of childbirth and how approaching birth with confidence is an essential ingredient for birth.

Rosie Fitzclarence

The hypnobirthing program is designed for all types of birth. Basically - I promote POSITIVE birth and parents are well prepared for whatever turns our birth may or may not take. Chances are, a woman’s birth will be natural, but all throughout the course I emphasise that the techniques will serve them well in any scenario – physiological labour, induction or caesarean section. The course enhances a couples understanding of pregnancy and childbirth and will help them overcome any possible fears surrounding the process.

The "hypno" refers to self-hypnosis. Self-hypnosis is a deep form of relaxation, similar to meditation, with the birthing mother remaining fully aware of her surroundings. During labour, the mother is more in tune with her body, she is more confident and in control and this often translates to less interventions during the birthing process.

I was personally drawn to hypnobirthing because the more I worked with pregnant women, the more I appreciated the fact that labour and birth is MENTAL GAME. You really just can’t wing it on the day! The course down-to-earth, straightforward and easily learned. Choosing to provide a course that is evidence-based was also important to me. A ground-breaking Australian study on effective childbirth education was recently released by Dr. Kate Levett and Dr. Hannah Dahlen. This study highlighted how important it was to not only participate in independent childbirth education classes, but to also find a program that included complementary therapies to support normal labour and birth. It basically halved the intervention rates for births!

I am very proud to say that the Hypnobirthing Australia program ticks ALL the boxes when it comes to providing an effective, evidence-based childbirth education course that also incorporates all of the complementary studies highlighted in the study.

How does the hypnobirthing course propose to help me during labour?

The course is held over two days. 12 hours of tuition time in total. I recommend attending the course before 34 weeks if possible, but many have attended much later than this and still received excellent results.

All participants are provided with a professionally printed folio of resources that are suited to Australian mothers and their birth partners, and our models of maternity care. In addition to this, you receive several professionally recorded hypnobirthing practice tracks, eBook & practice videos – to assist parents in the preparation for a calm and positive birth.

Hypnobirthing Australia™ class participants also receive access to the exclusive parents only online membership portal, which hosts further downloadable resources, hypnobirthing breathing and relaxation exercises, visualisations, hypnobirthing scripts, specially annotated birth videos, a birth partner cheat sheet, sample birth preferences, routine for practice, birth rehearsal, access to our hypnobirthing app, and so much more! 

Is hypnobirthing something my partner can be included in?

Absolutely! These days partners play more of a role in the labouring process, so it makes sense that they get involved in our hypnobirthing classes. Your birth partner can be your partner, husband, wife, doula, sister, friend or mother. Whoever you feel will support you the best throughout your pregnancy and birth.

Partners are encouraged to attend. In saying that, if mums want to go solo that’s fine too.

Participants learn a diverse set of techniques, along with knowledge and tools that will be vital in making well-informed, confident decisions along the way. In hypnobirthing, partners play a central role. Partners learn ways to help throughout pregnancy and birth. Not only being an emotional and physical support during this important time, but also acting as an advocate for both mother and baby.

Is hypnobirthing too ‘Alternative’ for me?

Absolutely not!

Yes – hypnobirthing sounds weird! I actually don’t like the name as one can assume that the course is solely focused on hypnotherapy/hypnosis. There is so much more to the course than just the deep relaxation and it really isn’t “hippy” or “woo-woo”. The course is best described as a comprehensive independent childbirth education program backed by science and taken from up-to-date evidence-based research.

My courses contain four units covering:

1.     Creating and maintaining a positive mindset

2.     Our toolkit for birth

3.     Preparation and choices for empowered birthing

4.     Birth – bringing it all together

I promise there are no pocket watches swinging from side to side during a hypnobirth!

I’m not sure about a group session. Can I book a one on one?

Yes. I do many private classes with Geelong Born. Just simply get in touch and we’ll find mutually convenient times to meet.

What happens if I end up having a Caesarean? Will hypnobirthing still be of use?

Sometimes, a caesarean birth is the safest and best way to birth your baby due to special circumstances. That is completely ok. For those that do the standard course in the pregnancy but then find a caesarean is the better option down the track, then there is a special ‘Change of Circumstances’ add on component to the course. This compliments what couples have already learnt and provides information, tracks and resources to prepare for a positive caesarean birth.

Alternatively, there is a private Positive Caesarean Course that is available to parents having a planned caesarean. This special program which prepares parents for a positive and empowering caesarean birth, using hypnobirthing and relaxation techniques. It is 4 hours in total and geared for those specifically having a “belly-birth”.

What would you say to somebody that says – “Hypnobirthing is not for me I’m having an elective Caesar”?

There is plenty that can be done when preparing for a caesarean. Caesarean birth requires preparation and consideration. There are so many ways you can make a caesarean calm, beautiful, positive and empowering.

Can hypnobirthing be applied to the postpartum period?

The hypnobirthing techniques are tools for life! The strategies learned in the course allow individuals to remain calm and reduce anxiety for pregnancy, birth and well into the future. These are particularly helpful in dealing with the challenges of parenting haha and life’s ups and downs.

How can local couples book in with you?

 Head to my website – www.geelongborn.com.au

You can book directly from the webpage. If you have any questions about the course, then don’t hesitate to get in touch and I’ll take you though the options.

How can people from other locations find a hypnobirthing instructor?

Know anyone can see me for classes via Zoom, regardless of location.

For face to face classes further afield checkout the Hypnobirthing Australia™ website for listed practitioners.

https://hypnobirthingaustralia.com.au/find-a-class/

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what the Hell is a labour Comb?

Seasons of Mama Birth Comb

As the name suggests a labour comb is a comb identical to what you might use on your hair.

It is held in the palm of your hand during labour to assist with pain management. Often birth combs will have a rounded edge on the teeth so as to not enforce injury to the hand.

There are several theories as to why the birth comb may actually help to support pain relief in labour.

1.         It offers a very easy way to distract the labouring mother from the pain associated with a contraction.

2.         By gripping the comb in your palm teeth facing into the palm sitting just underneath where the fingers would meet your palm, the teeth of the comb hit certain acupressure points in the hand which assist to relieve pain.

3.         Gate Control Theory. Ok this is where it gets a bit technical. So here’s a very untechnical way of explaining it (Remember I’m not a health expert so please do your own research). Gate Control Theory centres around the idea that as pain messages get sent up the spine to be processed in the brain it may be possible to block these messages via the pathway before they reach your brain. In order for us to actually receive the pain signal and thus interpret the feeling of pain, the pain signal must pass through the dorsal horn of the spinal cord. This acts as a ‘gate’ that has the ability either stop or let through nerve impulses (i.e pain signals) to the brain therefore disabling or enabling us to actually feel pain.

Pheeeew. Are you still with me? That was a lot to take in. So when we look at labour and Gate control theory, by offering an additional stimuli such as a labour comb, we may have the ability to effectively close off the ‘gate’ thereby blocking the pain from being received and most importantly ‘felt’.

So why would I use a comb and not a TENS machine?

Well you can actually use both. A TENS  (Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulation) Machine uses a low voltage electrical current that delivered via the skin on or near the nerves to block the transmission of pain signals.

TENS Machines have been well known to offer pain relief during labour but they do have their limitations. For example they cannot be used for water birth or labouring in the shower. So this is where you’re Comb comes in.

A good quality comb such as the one made by Seasons of Mama is sustainably made and water proof (i.e. not made from wood) so it can be used in water. A longer comb such as this can be gripped with both hands if preferred.

If you find yourself in the position of having an emergency C-section the comb can be used to hold as a distraction and to reduce stress prior to and during the birth.

A birth comb also makes a beautiful keepsake for storytelling with your child or simply to hold on to memories of your birth. And last but not least the comb can always be used as a standard hair comb if desired. Perfect after all the huffing and puffing from labour.

So there you have it. As always please speak to your health care provider to learn more about pain management during labour and to determine what is best for you based on your individual circumstances.

Want to get your hands around a birth comb? Click here.

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How to Bond with your baby during pregnancy

Play Music

There were a few very special songs in particular that I would play over and over during my pregnancies and it was so special for me to play this music again to each my children once they were born.

 Studies have actually shown that babies that are exposed to melodies repeatedly in the womb (particularly in the later stages of pregnancy) have the ability to recognise this music once they are born. Still to this day the music I played to my children calms them down dramatically if they are upset or overwhelmed (my oldest is 3 years old).

So what music is best to play to your baby during pregnancy? Well there’s not a lot of research to suggest any particular style of music is better than another, however soothing tunes are going to be more relaxing and may promote a more calming sense of mind for the mother and thus baby. But really any music that’s makes you happy will work just fine. So whether you’re in to Mozart or Motley Crue, put in on and enjoy yourself and this time with your baby.

Rubbing your belly is a great way to bond with baby during pregnancy

Rub your belly

This has got to be one of the easiest ways to bond with your baby. Whilst I was pregnant I found myself doing this subconsciously. A study conducted by Scottish researchers actually showed that babies exhibited a greater response by way of head and body movement when a mother touched her pregnant belly compared to just talking. Isn’t that amazing?!

The added benefit of belly rubbing is that you can use a beautiful belly oil to help prevent pregnancy symptoms such as stretch marks and itchy skin. That’s a win in our books.

Sing or Talk

This may come more naturally to some. But singing to your baby is a lovely way to connect with them in your belly. Easily done if you’re already playing them your favourite tunes. However, if that’s not right for you, just talking to your baby is also a nice way to connect and help your baby recognise your voice.

Start a Pregnancy Journal

This is something that I did with each of my pregnancies. And whilst I must admit I’m not generally a journaling type of person, I am so glad I took the time to document my pregnancies. It is such a lovely keep sake that I have to look back on. When my children are younger I can also go back and read through the journals with them. Such a special way to bond with your children once they are older as well.

Meditate

Practicing mindfulness or meditation during pregnancy is another way you might like to bond with your baby. This also has the added benefit of reducing stress, increasing relaxation and boosting positive feelings. It has well been reported that Anxiety and Depression are not uncommon symptoms of pregnancy so mindfulness can be a useful tool to help manage these symptoms. However you should always speak to your health care provider if you have any concerns for an action plan specific to your individual needs.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had a long commute to work (2 hours door to door) so I would meditate for 20 minutes on the train ride every morning to work. It was really lovely to start my day in a relaxing way and definitely helped to break up the boredom of the monotonous daily commute.

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Will I tear During Labour?

This has got to be one of the biggest concerns many pregnant women will have leading up to their labour. Also Up there with will I poop during labour?

 If you’re not following along, we’re talking about the perineum. And for those of you who don’t know, this is the area of skin that connects the opening of the vagina to the anus. It’s usually 2-5 cm in length and connects to your pelvic floor muscles.

 During labour the perineum stretches to make way for the baby’s head and yes it is true that many women will experience some degree of tearing. But never fear because there are things you can do to prepare this area for labour and reduce your risk of tearing.

1.     Perineal Massage – Use a warm compress to prep the area beforehand. Perineal massage is usually commenced at around 34 weeks. Perineal massage involves you placing your thumbs inside your vagina and then using the forefinger to gently stretch the skin by pressing in a downwards motion towards the anus. Note that perineal massage may not be suitable for women with a low lying placenta or infection so be sure to speak with your health care provider before commencing to get the go ahead.

2.     Warm Compress – Used during the second stage of labour, when the baby’s head is descending, application of warm compression during contractions can increase the blood flow to the area and assist the tissue to become more flexible thus reducing the risk of tearing.

 3. Cool Compress - Following your delivery a cold compress can be applied to the area to provide soothing relief. This will also assist to relieve symptoms associated with Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, Vulval Varicosities and Haemorrhoids. Please also check in with your healthcare provider to ensure that you’re receiving the most appropriate treatment based on your individual circumstances.

We Have compiled some of our fave products that be used on the perineum leading up to and post labour:

Joey Mama Perineal Recovery Pack

Joey Mama Perineal Recovery Pack: This can be heated and used as a warm compress on the Perineum to prep the area for massage. This versatile product can also be cooled and used as a soothing postpartum padsicle following labour.

Mere Botanicals Perineal Massage Oil

Mere Botanicals Perineal Massage Oil: Use this beautiful oil made from Almond, Calendula and St John Wort from 34 weeks to gently massage your perineum in preparation for labour. Have some oil left over? This versatile oil can also be used as a baby oil and for cradle cap.

Mere Botanicals Peri Spray

Mere Botanicals Perineal Spray: Formulated using a beautiful combination of Witch Hazel, Aloe Vera, Horse Tail Extract, Vitamin E and Grape Seed Extract this spray can be applied directly to the perineum following delivery. Super versatile, this spray can also be used to support healing following a caesarean.

TIP: Keep refrigerated for extra soothing qualities.

Bare Mum Herbal Infused Postpartum Pads: Support yourself in style after labour with these high quality herbal infused maternity pads. This wingless pad is leak proof, helps to minimise odour and balance your pH levels.

 Is there anything this pad doesn’t do?

Cle. Naturals Sitz + Postnatal Soak

Cle. Naturals Restore Baths Sitz: Use of a shallow sitz bath following labour can help to heal tears and reduce swelling. This restorative Epsom salt blend is combined with Witch Hazel, Calendula Oil, Lavender, Frankincense and Bergamot essential oils making your recover especially relaxing.

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10 things I’ve learned from becoming a mum

Let me preface this blog by stating, that the below is a summary of my lived experience. You may or may not experience, some or all of these things. This is simply a reflection of my own journey. Further, I am not a medical professional and I strongly encourage anyone who is experiencing difficulties to seek guidance from their medical care provider/s.

1. Your nursery/baby room does not have to be completed before the birth!

 I repeat, it does not have to be done people. I know, I know your nesting and there’s an unstoppable drive willing you to do it, but consider this; As per the Red Nose safe sleeping guidelines it is recommended that your baby sleep in a bassinet/ cot in the same room as you for up to the first 12 months. So unless you plan on sleeping in the babies’ room during this time, you’ve earned yourself some breathing space so you can use your nesting time for more important things like personally cleaning every window in your house.

2. Your baby sleeps for like up to 5 hours* after birth.

This is normal but not going to be repeated for a looooong time so rest up! We thought we had hit the jackpot. I just delivered my beautiful bundle of joy, the oxytocin was flowing my baby was sleeping peacefully and I was just beginning to relax in to an obnoxious smugness thinking we had somehow managed to snag ourselves one of those unicorn babies that sleeps. Oh how I was wrong. You see your baby is just tired you know from labouring and what not. Because let’s be clear they were also putting in some effort in the whole delivery process so now they too need to recuperate. When it came to delivering my second baby I was determined to ensure that I rested during this period. However, mother nature had other plans and I was unable to sleep due to the amount of adrenaline and hormones coursing through me.

3. A newborn baby sheds its’ skin.

 Well, technically it gets a little flaky and can peel off. Usually concentrated to the hands and feet the delicate newborn skin is required to adapt to its new environment. I was not prepared for this at all. I was expecting to bring my deliciously soft newborn home and marvel at that beautiful fresh baby skin I had enjoyed embracing whilst I was in hospital. I never imagined they would begin shedding their skin like a little lizard. Don’t worry it’s absolutely normal and should resolve itself within a couple of days. You do not need to treat the area. Of course if you do have concerns please seek help from your medical care provider.

4. Babies can get acne.

Well let me tell you, this one came as quite the shock to me and happened to both my babies at around 4 weeks. Many babies will not develop acne but my first born did. And it was a lot. I remember looking at her little face and it appeared red and sore just like a teenager with an aggressive acne outbreak. This was not what I had envisioned at all. As a first time mum, this made me concerned as I did not know what was happening. I became self conscious and remember feeling reluctant to take my baby out thinking that this was somehow a ‘weird’ rash she had. But I really should not have worried.

Neonatal acne is harmless and affects approximately 20% of newborn babies in the first few months of their life. In most cases it does not require treatment and will resolve on its own within a few months https://www.dermcoll.edu.au/atoz/neonatal-infantile-acne/

As always, please speak to your healthcare provider if you have ny concerns something is not right.

5. Lower back pain is easy to come by in the early postpartum days.

I don’t know why I was not expecting this. I mean you basically have not been able to utilise your core muscles for at least 8 months so it makes sense that when you’re finally able to move again your lower back tries to over compensate. Hello lower back strain and pain. I found this exacerbated by the constant picking up and placing in the bassinet, patting to sleep, breastfeeding. Pretty much anything to do withholding my baby really. Even sitting down was becoming painful as I just had no strength in my core to hold my body up correctly.

At my 6 week physio appointment, my Physiotherapist put me on to yoga and it was magical. I started off really slowly but bit by bit I was able to build up my strength again and this led me to enjoy a more active lifestyle. Highly recommend provided you get the all clear form your health care providers and it’s safe to do so of course. Safety First!

6. You may feel lonely at the beginning.

Those early postpartum days/weeks can be really isolating. You are sleep deprived and captive to a relentless new born feeding schedule. Regardless of whether you are breastfeeding or bottle-feeding this routine takes it’s toll. This for me was compounded by the fact that once your significant other returns to work, it really just becomes you and your baby. Whether it’s 2am and you’re sitting up at night feeding (hello online shopping) or 2pm and you’re still in the exact same position doing the exact same thing. Catch ups with friends become more difficult as you try to work around the baby’s ‘schedule’ and all the days somehow seem to merge in to one another. You have no idea what day it is, when you last took a shower. The freedom you once had, to go to the shops alone, the gym, a friend’s house has now gone and is replaced by this beautiful sleeping/screaming/feeding child in your arms. Don’t get me wrong this time is precious and I thoroughly enjoyed becoming a mum and the newborn days, but at times it felt isolating and I didn’t seem to be able to relate to anyone even family members with older kids (it’s amazing how you forget the significance and rawness of those early days over time) which is why mother’s groups play such a significant role in a new mothers life.

7. The resentment is real.

Ok ok so let me just start by saying that my children’s father is an amazing dad and he definitely did everything he possibly could have to help me and look after our children in those early days (and still does). But. The man has useless nipples lol.. Not even one tiny drop if milk is ever coming out of those things. So it was up to me to feed our baby 24/7/365.

Picture this. You’re deep in the trenches of accumulative fatigue, touched out and in need of 490 hours of sleep and the baby starts crying in the middle of the night and your husband/significant other does not even stir. Like not even a little bit. And so it’s all up to you to pull yourself up for the fourth time that night and feed your child on your cracked, sore nipples, you look over at your partner sleeping peacefully and the resentment builds.

I found resentment would build for things I had not expected too, like them being able to go to work and leave the house, child free basically whenever they want. Freedom. Sweet Freedom. Something I realised that I was missing desperately. We did fall in to a bit of a groove eventually when I was able to express some milk my partner was able to get up and do some night feeds from time to time however those of you who have already been on this journey, might know that your boobs certainly do not know you’re taking the next feed off and will continue to build milk and you just end up pumping or doing the feed any way.

So overnight nappy changes became Dad’s domain in our house and this helped a lot. After my 6 week check up I also scheduled some time to get out of the house on my own and go for a walk or have a coffee and even started going to the gym a couple of time a week. Heaven!

I will also say that it really helped to communicate my frustrations in the early days in order for my partner and I to develop an action plan which allowed us to work more as a team and build a bit of a rhythm leading to more sleep for mum :)

8. You don’t need to spend Money on lots of clothes and cute outfits.

This is definitely a tough one. Especially if you’re a first time parent because it’s just so exciting and getting everything together for your new bundle of joy is so much bloody fun. But I found that you just get so many clothes from family and friends as gifts I really had an oversupply of clothing. Plus babies grow out of their clothes so quickly it really becomes a waste of money to have too many options. Cute and insta worthy outfits are great but they are so unpractical, especially when it comes to poo-namies, nappy changes in general and naptimes. Save your self some money by jumping on marketplace and getting all of these items at a significant discount. They will be hardly worn due to the rate babies grow and will be in great condition. I swear by Bonds onsies they are so easy to get on and off and comfy for bub. But hey each to their own. If you have the stamina to ensure you’re newborn is insta ready at all times then all the power to you mama. You do you.  No judgement here x

9. Your first mothers group meeting is weird.

Picture this. A bunch of strangers all sitting in a circle. Everyone on edge hoping their baby isn’t the one to cry, because the meeting fell during your babies nap time and man I hope I don’t have to whip a boob out and try to breast feed because I still don’t know what I’m doing. Good lord please please don’t let me have to deal with a poonamie in public.

Yeah it was super awkward. But you know what, it’s totally worth it. Mothers groups are so important and in my experience such an amazing lifeline for new mother to navigate what is happening developmentally with their child and physiologically/psychologically with themselves. I have developed genuine friendships from my group. So do yourself a massive favour and go and attend yours when you get the invitation to do so. As your kids become toddlers, having a network of friends to have playdates with is such an added bonus too.

10. Sometimes You’ll feel like you’re doing it wrong.

So this definitely may not apply to everyone. Especially if you have already had children. In my experience I found navigating a new born and trying to introduce sleep schedules, understand wtf colic is amongst all the other intricacies of newborn life completely overwhelming. I thought I was failing if my baby did not sleep, or would not breastfeed for the same amount of time as other babies or even at all (hello baby formula). Spoiler alert I was not failing. Repeat after me. You are everything your baby needs right now and you are the best parent in the world to them.

This new entry in to parenthood thing can be a tough journey, but give yourself some credit and please please don’t compare your journey to anyone else. All babies develop differently and everyone else is in the same boat just trying to figure out what on earth they are trying to do. Comparison is the thief of joy. So just know that you’re doing an amazing job and the fact that you’re even worrying about ‘doing it wrong’ makes you a fantastic parent! xx

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